Wednesday, 26 November 2014

I never thought I'd hear myself saying THAT!

Parents ALL find themselves saying the most obscure things out loud.
But parents of autistic children (of which I am one of those parents) They say the down right shocking and Insane things out loud! sometimes they are lucky to be at home when they say them, but sometimes they are out and about in 'public' when they realize 'what have i just said?'

Here is a list of some of the most crazy, shocking, hilarious things I have found myself saying out loud.

1- Who has eaten the new soap?

2- Why is there a Hippo in my shoe?

3- No! that is not your uncle, Its just a strange man with a beard, Get off his head!

4- Thomas the tank engine does not like it if you put your penis in his funnel!

5- Why Oh Why are you eating the wall?

6- Is that pooh or chocolate?.........Damn! I shouldn't have tasted it to check!

7-  Please don't rub your private parts on grandmas lap!

8- Why do you eat mud and sand, but refuse to eat fruit?

9- It's the hottest day of the year, Why are you wearing wellies and a hat?

10- Please get up off the floor, I'm sorry you are not allowed to eat mommy's lipstick!

11- No. roller skates on the trampoline is NOT a good idea!

12- We wear clothes on the trampoline in the garden. Yes, even underpants!

13- It's the middle of the night, Why are you being a teenage mutant ninja turtle?

14- Sure! you can have your dinner on 6 different plates, as long as you eat!

15- where has all the toilet roll gone? ......... Oh you wanted to be a mummy? that's nice, could you spare some arm bandage so can go to the toilet?

Thursday, 20 November 2014

The dreaded IEP meeting.

Today was Aidens IEP meeting at his school, As I was at work today, my wife had to take this challenge on all by herself <3
Here is 'In her words' how it went.

Mommy's report.

Today was Aiden's IEP meeting,  normally such things would be looked forward to, waiting to hear about Aidens areas of improvement and just what he would be working towards over the next few months.  This one was approached with a complete feeling of ' Oh crap ' from myself as he'd been well behaving like a mini beast over the past couple of weeks and their were areas of his behavior that needed to be addressed! Erghhhhhh.  It all went really well actually, feeling totally relieved now,   he is using his visual queue cards well,  ( OK well only the cards that show what food he wants ) But his using the cards and that's great from my point of view.  He needs to work on his ability to wait for the food to be produced as he is using the cards quite impatiently.  But patience has never being his strong point,  nor is easy for any child with autism.  I had to smile as they described just what a clever soul he is at heart as they described how out the class he is the only who manages to work out where they have hidden the keys to the cupboards and then sneak out all the hidden goodies from just anywhere they hide them.  They also were really pleased when I explained that his strange version of sneaking up behind you and resting his chin on the back of your head, and then rubbing your hair, was his version of affection and a kiss.  His teacher was really pleased with this as he only does it to two people and she was one of them.  She was a little shocked as she thought her hair was boring compared to some of the others there.  So her realising its not about the hair, its about the love, really made her day.  I guess all is forgiven, well at least for a week or so!

Wednesday, 5 November 2014

They don't give you a guide book for this!

When you start a family, everybody is full of advice and opinions. But the one thing they don't prepare you for is if your child is 'different'
In my case case it's that my second and third children have been diagnosed with AUTISM, they have a different diagnosis to each other, one is high functioning, the other is severe non verbal!
But this I say as a relative expert on the subject as I have done everything i can to research and study and live with these diagnosis!
The people who were there at the beginning with words of wisdom have now shrunk away and look to me as an 'icon' of wisdom? (why? because me and my wife have just accepted what we have, and have made the best of ours and our children's life x)

Everything we were told from the beginning has been banked in our memory banks, and occasionally used for 'real life' but the rest we have had to make up ourselves. These people and their advise has not been a bad thing, they meant well, and from the most honest part of the heart.

But to function as a parent to an autistic child!!! well that comes with no map, no plan, and no rule book!
We have to make this up as we go. and we also need to record our lives, as others need a reference point to judge their own life! and we need to feed from other parents for their advice, and suggestions.

Search the dictionary and 'autism' has 3 lines of definition???    What a joke! It needs at least 379 pages with room for expansion!

I don't even think that I could write a 'complete guide to autism' to help others, as I can only talk about my own personal experiences. and my story is not the same as the next person.
All I can do is share my life, and hopefully help one person to recognize and accept.

If I saw a book on the shelf titled 'Autism A-Z everything you need to know' I would just laugh and pass that by as a fiction novel!
Life and living with autism, or somebody with autism is the only true way to understand the differences and delicate way of coping with everyday mundane tasks.

But I do wish there was a more globally acceptance of the diagnosis as some see it as a 'stigma' or 'curse' or 'disease'  And it would be better for the people directly affected by autism for those around them to understand, and sympathize.

As a parent to autistic children, My heart and love goes out to EVERYBODY out there who are going through similar circumstances to me and my family xx

Tuesday, 4 November 2014

A surprise response

In my previous blog
 about how angry I was about hearing how people are so rude when they see children with autism acting out in public, TESCO supermarket contacted me to apologize and send their sincere concerns for what my son and wife had to go through in their store.
I did not write this blog to gain a response from TESCO, I wrote it to spread awareness of autism, and to stop the public stigma that it brings. But the supermarket has contacted me and offered to do something for my son. It is things like this that make you realize that the big chains have a heart and care about the customers.

Saturday, 1 November 2014

It will be all OK tomorrow. and other jokes we tell ourselves.

Parents to autistic children

To keep and maintain sanity we all tell ourselves little white lies daily.
here are just a few.

1- It's OK nobody saw that.

2- Just one more coffee and I'll be fine

3- They will sleep well after today's adventures

4- What stain on the carpet? I never saw that before?

5- This time! fruit will be eaten and not used as bouncy balls

6- If I clean the house now, it will stay tidy all day.

7- If we could just get them to eat what is put in front of them, then we can go to that really nice restaurant together.

8- Lets just get a babysitter!

9- this time next year everything will be sorted and all good.

10- It's the weekend, we can sleep in.

11- The neighbors can't hear whats going on.

12- Oh! the plan has changed. That won't be a problem?

13- Fruit jelly counts as one of your five a day.

14- It could be worse.

15- Yes, That is how I wanted it to happen.

Hey you! yeah you. keep your ignorant insults to yourself !!

When a mother and her severely autistic non verbal son go to the supermarket together to buy some household essentials, they DO NOT appreciate the horrible and offensive comments of total strangers!
So my son was 'acting out'.
So he was making loud noises.
So he was taking solace on the comfortable cold floor.
He was not! hurting you, himself, or anybody!
He was just expressing his current frame of disappointment, because they had no pink doughnuts on the freshly baked goods shelf! What?

But you. You self righteous opinionated bully! You thought the best thing to do would be to is to grunt and huff and say how disgusted you were. (in a volume so you knew you would be heard by others)
Well? You appear to me to be the type of person that needed more hugs as a child, but you didn't get them and you have forever spent your life spiting the world for your own insecurities.
If I was there with my wife and son I would have let you know just how inappropriate your attitude was! We live in an open world here, and differences are everywhere! It's selfish spite and hate in the people who see themselves as 'normal' that is whats wrong in the world. Take time to think, question and then, make an opinion!

My wife was hurt, upset and annoyed, by the words of this person.
My son was hurt, upset and annoyed by the fact they had no pink doughnuts.
My wife did not take it upon herself to loudly verbalize her disgust of the supermarket for not behaving in a 'normal' way for not having a fully stocked shelf.
But you took it upon yourself to loudly verbalize your disgust of my child's actions?
So ask yourself. Who was the person acting 'out of public decency?'

If you see or hear this happening when you are out and about, and you think that the parents of a challenging child, then feel free to jump in and say to the horrible people saying horrible things, 'Hey I think that's out of order, Can't you see they are looking after their child, they are doing a good job. And your words are just poison!'
These people need to understand that their opinions are worthless poison to the world!

On the other hand. If you are the parent of a child acting out, and you hear these offensive verbalization from the horrible people, then just ignore them or turn around, look at them in the eye and say 'What? Do you hate children? is that it? should I call the police because you are stupid?' (this I have used before, and it was fun to see them shrink away like a slug on salt)

Autism needs a voice. It needs understanding, and it needs accepting!