Monday, 20 October 2014

Wow. I can't believe what my son did today.

Having children on the autism spectrum, makes you see thing in a different way to others. 
My youngest son 'severe autism, non verbal' has taught  me to see improvements on a microscopic level, and still be as enthused as any other parent who sees there child who pass exams. 

Why, the other day I was doing the ironing. And Aiden was watching me and getting excited at what I was doing. I thought he was excited to see his uniform and he thought he was going to school, this was a cute interaction. 
But he next day he went into the kitchen, picked up the iron (with a sense of joy and pride in himself) then he went over to the pile of clothes on the chair in the dining room, and proceeded to straighten them out and push the iron backwards and forewards over the clothes. Then standing back to admire his work. Then in a moment of true love, he kisses the iron as it is his tool of perfection. (Thank god it was a cordless iron and wasn't on)

And another recent development I noticed (or should I say, noticed, and then told everybody I know)
I came home from work at 5 ish. Mommy said to me 'they have had there tea. But Aiden is not eating!' So I say 'come on Aiden, let's eat dinner' he looks at me, smiles,walks up to the table, picks up his plate, looks at me, walks to the kitchen, looks at me, the he tips his plate of dinner into the bin. 
Am I angry? Upset? Dissapointed?
I am SOOOO  proud of my son for doing the right thing with leftover food (yes I know, it wasn't exactly left over) 
And then he led my hand to the bread to make him some toast instead!

Never underestimate the power of non verbal communication. 

Sunday, 12 October 2014

Be creative

When dealing with autism, you find that you have to get more creative than you ever thought possible!
There is no limits to the times you need to try some other way or something new or something completely out there just to get an end result.

Dinner time
Getting dressed
Bath time
Potty training
Public outings
Hair cut
Social situations
Bed time
Change of routine
Doctors appointments

As long as you are aware that 'plan A' will most likely fail!! and you have at least 3 other options to try (sometimes more), then all will be fine in the end.................................... and by that I mean when you have calmed down from the stress of it all and can sit back and say

 'well, we got through that one!'
 'At least we know what to do next time'
 'It's OK we never liked that place, who wants to go back anyway?'
 'That was different'
 'Yes high fives all round, that was awesome'
 'open the wine! this day needs a drink'
 'Hahahahahahahahaaaaa did you see the look on there faces'
 'If anybody needs me, I'll be in bath, I think this has stained me down to the bone!'

Monday, 6 October 2014

The best BIG SISTER in the world!!!!!!

Keira. 8 years old.
She has to be the best big sister in the world EVER!
She has taken to her little brothers and how their autism has affected their development in life.
She has made me so proud of how she deals with the tantrums/outbursts/meltdowns! as if they were nothing. but also understanding the need and approach to deal with these situations!
She would make the best teacher, carer, support worker, mentor that anybody could ask for.
She has the knowledge and understanding to put into perspective what others need to go to school for 4 years to understand, she is so compassionate and delicate when explaining to people 'why her brothers do what they do' and she doesn't see it as anything other than what anybody else would do. It is just in her nature to see differences and not judge but just accept and move on and work with what you've got.

She occasionally needs some 'Keira time' and she understands this. She will come to me an say 'Daddy I think me and you need to go to the shops and get out for a bit, maybe sit on the bench and have a treat from the bakery'  (this is something I did for her when I noticed she wasn't herself) and she will sit there and let out steam of how frustrated she gets, and how she wishes she could fix it with a magic wand! We will talk things through and she will start to feel good about herself again.

She knows that her life is not the same as other children at school and she understands that we cannot do some things as a family that her friends do, but NEVER resents this. What she does is, take the things that we can do and see the positives in it. our day trips, our impromptu fancy dress party's, even the small things like  having a group hug on the sofa, or when her brothers are better behaved on a bus than the other naughty children.

She has even considered teaching special needs children when she grows up, because she know that she has the best understanding of special children that others 'just don't get'

I don't think that I could have wished for a more amazing, special, unique, caring, educated, loving, thoughtful, daughter!! I find it hard to remember she is still only 8 years old, she has the temperament of a grown up.

So when she asks for a 'special day' like an Alice in wonderland tea party, or a Medieval themed Saturday. me and Mommy will do our best to give her what she wants x (and so far we have done OK)

Friday, 3 October 2014

Real men cry

I am a man. I drink beer. I love sports. I have a beard and everything. 
But is not beneath me to shed a tear once in a while. And it should not be looked upon as a sign of weakness! We all do it, and it's healthy. I've cried at weddings, funerals, kneeling on Lego, and when Dumbos mom was taken away from him at the circus (Disney you b#%<>*<s) 
But becoming a dad has been the tear releasing juggernaut that I wasn't expecting, and having two of my children diagnosed on the ASD spectrum has added to the already emotional roller coaster that is parenthood. I see my boys developing at there own speed and have been taught how to look at things differently. 
I could write a list of the times I have been bought to tears but that would be too long (seriously it would go on for years) and I can't justify putting them into a top 10 (that would be unfair to the times that didn't make it) 
So you've got to believe me when I say "I cry for good and bad and funny reasons"
My children have made my heart swell with pride, work on a level I never thought possible, shrink with pain, stop with panic, and feel like the most lucky person on the planet. 
I look forward to tomorrow, I dream of the future and I treasure the past.