There are things in a parents life that they take for granted.
Some of those is that their children will grow up, get educated, get a job, and move out!
But I have come to terms with the fact my son will probably never 'leave home'
At the moment he is 5 years old severely autistic, non verbal, and behind in most of his developments, He needs 24/7 support and care. He is Hyposensetive and demands large amounts of physical stimulation to get any form of satisfaction.
Jumping, on beds, on trampolines, on me
Dancing (mostly by being held and bounced)
Tickling (hard enough to bruise any other child)
Eating (everything from ice cream to mud)
Making loud noises
He has no concept of personal safety, And this makes the outside world (also the safety of home) a very dangerous place. He will try to touch flames, swallow what looks interesting, climb up anything, run and chase something that catches his eye (cats, sweet wrappers people etc) when upset, he will fall to the floor and roll screaming (this has happened on a main road before)
He is very loving to me and his immediate family, He will hold our hands when out, and be led safely.
He feels safe with people he trusts and knows, but he can also take a shine to strangers he see's as safe! (this is a bit worrying)
He thrives on routine, and if that routine is broken then chaos will ensue, e;g If his school bus is 2 mins late, he will scream and shout and run up and down the lounge, banging himself into walls and windows to show he is distressed! (this has made our patio doors very wobbly and in need of replacing)
All of this and many more incidents have made me and my wife have the discussion 'what will we do if he never improves?'
This was a short and easy question to answer.
We both agree that, He's our son, we love him and we will always be there and do what is needed for him, The thought of putting him into care is something we both are against (even as he grows older and gets stronger) We will just adapt to his needs as they come. We have looked and researched as much about autism as we can, but living through it has been more educational than any book can be. And from what we've researched the only conclusion is that he will be better off living with us (forever)
I have long since thrown away the ideas of a relaxed retirement and am now planning for how best to serve my sons needs. I see articles from parents saying how hard it is to let their child go, but I could not see myself doing this (yes I know, things will get harder, but my stubborn mindset is fixed)
I have seen too many horror stories in the news about vulnerable people in care for me to feel even slightly convinced that they will be able to offer a better life for my son. I may be over protective, naive, and scared. But, that is how i feel and my determination to be the best parent to my children that they deserve only leads me to this conclusion!
I am and always will be a 'family is important' man. I will do anything to keep my family happy.
I have thought about and planned for the worse case scenario, and if that doesn't happen then I will be thrilled. The future of my son is not yet written and he could take massive leaps forward, but if he doesn't then I am ready! I will always be ready, for that's my mantra.